Highway Diary vol. 1

Every year, my family never ceases to miss the opportunity of taking a road trip or two. We like going somewhere new but of course, still return to our favorites. From crossing the border for some HST-free shopping to exploring our own backyard, we’re down.

Anyways, remember when you were a kid and you used to hold your breath, make sure your mouth was closed and make the most sincere silent wish to yourself? Yeah? Me too.

Confession: For the rare occasion I was awake on our tread towards Quesnel, BC (yeah, I’ve never heard of it too), I caught myself holding my breath, making sure my mouth was closed and figuring out what I wanted to wish for in that 20-second tunnel.

I did it. And theoretically my strategically-worded wish should come true one day. But as I finally exhaled when I saw the light, I laughed. I laughed silently to myself to avoid seeming crazy to the 5 other people in the van (for I’ve had one too many incidents of me cackling at Ivy’s most recent text/im lol). I was probably more laughing at how ridiculous my wish was and that it came out of all sincerity, but still. Why was I doing this? Why did I really believe that my wish would come true this way?

I came from a trip to Los Angeles some number of weeks ago and as much as there were more memorable highlights from the trip, there was one that was kinda put in the back of my mind. The Youth Conference; one of the main reasons we were even there. It was called I Turn To You and only now did I make the connection with it and the skit they put on. Admittingly, when I think of the play, I think of Joseph saying: “Omg, there’s TWO of them?!” Haha. But thankfully, I took something good out of it too. One line just kind of stuck out.

Daughter, your faith has healed you.

It was one line that kind of answers most questions. How did the big G.O.D do all of this? How was it that with Him, all things are possible? Why could he create such beauty? And with that, I can answer that it is our utmost faith in Him that ultimately resolves any problem. It is more so our TRUST in His power than the magnitude of His power that miracles can happen from. So if I were to put the same trust (and more) that I put in that wish in Him instead, let’s just say, I don’t need no airplanes.

2PM Lessons

All my life, I’ve gone to public school. For half of that life, this wasn’t supposed to be the case. Having Filipino Catholic parents, naturally, it was decided that I go to a private high school, Notre Dame in my case. But at age 7, I was dubbed “gifted” by my second grade teacher. How? I have no idea. But I’m thankful. Having been given multiple opportunities to excel and take my studies further have benefited me one way or another (despite not remembering half the classes I was in). The pattern continued and what seemed to be the biggest decision yet (at the time) finally came upon me, picking my high school. All my friends were going to our feeder school while me, Notre Dame. But my teacher, being the great woman I remember her to be, suggested I apply for some enriched programs in the city just in case. 4 years later, I find myself enterring my final year in Mini School with my brother following my footsteps.

Mini School has been great. It has taught and challenged me an exceeding amount everyday, inside and outside the classroom. Without this environment, I wouldn’t of been introduced to the Pay It Forward concept so early and figured out my passion within it. Thus, I am forever grateful.

But when I say challenged as a whole, I don’t just mean academically and physically, but fundamentally as well. Specifically with my religion and beliefs.

Which brings me to this past Sunday. Every month, one of the youth groups I’m part of has a talk/lesson from our parish’s priest. I usually miss it cause my commitment is divided on Sundays and usually, I’d be at Youth for Christ. But on the occasion that I do, I never cease to learn something new. And I never cease to forget to bring my notebook to write it all in.

This week was interesting, to say the least. It was addressing the question that I’ve always struggled to answer when challenged by my peers. And being in Mini School, that’s one thing never missed. Truth be told, I don’t know how to answer all of those “why” questions.

“Why do you believe in God?”
“Why do you go to church?”
“Why are you Catholic and not Christian?”

Thing is, I’m still learning myself so it’s no doubt that defending myself and my faith is difficult. Everyday, I don’t know how but the big G.O.D. up there manages to open my eyes to new wonders of this world. And, I guess, that’s part of why I believe in Him, through the beauty he constantly surrounds me in.

So, before I can teach, I must learn.

Then he said to them all, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it.”

Luke 9:23-24

Rain(bow)

I’ve said this more than once to a handful of people but honestly, I could have graduated this year. Nevermind not having the right amount of credits yet but I feel as though I am ready to be done with High School. Mentally and emotionally, I am prepared to step out of this place I’ve called home of 4 years and enter a new a chapter. In all honesty, I’m done with the bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve learned more than enough inside and outside of every classroom but it’s time for something new.

Of course, that isn’t exactly an option right now so as planned, I’m still going to make the best out of my year and take every opportunity I can get. Thing is, I feel like high school has taught me all those “life” lessons and experiences it’s supposed to.

So if this next year is going to teach me anything, it’s that sometimes in life, you have to deal with things you don’t neessarily want to in order to get to the places you want.

You gotta put up with the rain before you can enjoy the rainbow.

(And of course, living in Vancouver, that’s never in short supply.)

*F5*

Greetings! *cue awkward unintentional Star Trek wave*

So, I have obviously moved. I made this account months ago actually, but never got around to actually posting on it. At first, I thought I’d transfer all my old blogs here, but it felt, crowded and repetitive. Something about the other one just felt, for lack of a better word, unfamiliar. Or at least, it made me feel… uncomfortable. They were all my words but I just feel like they were written by someone, not too different, but still, different from me right now.

So for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been on a hiatus from Facebook and Tumblr – the two most addicting sites, ever. And at first, I really didn’t know what to do on the computer besides the one social networking site I still had access to, Twitter. So there I sat, either on my overheating heavy chunk of plastic called my laptop or on my newly acquired but terribly scratched iPod, I constantly hit the refresh button. I figured I’d eventually get tired of it and do something productive, which would prove my scheme was successful (to study for exams instead). I eventually did, but I hate to admit that I still sat there constantly hitting the refresh button every couple of minutes, for only God knows what reason.

From drunk tweets to FML tweets to Tweets-for-the-sake-of-tweeting tweets, I read them. All of them. Within each of those 140-characters or less, myself and all the other followers, attempted to interpret a deeper hidden meaning for all of those one-liners from Mos Def’s Casa Bey’s song. But for all we know, it could have just been stuck in your head.

Refresh.

Refresh.

Refresh.

Now, I’m sitting here. With Twitter open and whenever I see (1) new tweet, I refresh. I surprisingly didn’t tweet as much today, but I sure as hell read more than enough tweets. I spent more time reading tweets than reading what I should have, all of my Social Studies material.  Hallelujah and praise God that I am so close to freedom from what has been a truly tumultuous year. I told myself on Friday that I should theoretically start studying. But underestimating how tired last week actually made me, I managed to knock out on my couch somewhere in between @janellemonae‘s usual concert update to @andrewagarcia‘s overuse of exclamation marks. So, I told myself, Saturday was the day I would. That is, until I woke up to the idea of either going to a baptism with a reception or staying home to sulk in the accompaniment of my books. Soon enough, I found myself at 7:00, and now 11:30 having accomplished nothing. And I dub thee a day where I choose to accomplish nothing. Blatantly put, I am tired. This year has pulled at me from every angle, heartstrings and hit places I never knew existed. I got to a, dark, place at one point. And ever since that place, I began using sleep as my own “Refresh” button at life. Or at least, tried to. I tried to think sleeping it off would lead to a new page, new outlook, or simply something new. Proven false of course. I tried to erase responsibility and reality with hours of unconsciousness. I escaped into a literal fantasy which is my dreams. And with that said, I learned, that a new day doesn’t in fact start because of the time or the sleep placed between each one. I learned the hard way that your “Refresh” button in life is your actions. With that said,

Refresh.

Refresh.

Refresh.

“Fantasy is what people want but reality is what they need. And I’ve just retired from the fantasy part.” – Lauryn Hill

Thus, I mark a new old “Refresh,” to blogging writing.